When You’ve Blown It: Five Ways to Overcome a Mom Fail

“Every single day, I’m late for work because you won’t do what I’ve asked you to do! Every. Day.”

Our mornings are not always spectacular. It’s great when my son is compliant and obedient. It’s perfect when the dogs behave as they should. It’s amazing when my hair does just right and I pick out a good-fitting outfit the first time.

But let’s be real. That doesn’t happen most of the time. And mainly because the dogs don’t understand anything I say, my boy can sometimes bear the brunt of my frustrations.

I hate those times. The times when I feel like a total failure as a mom, or even as a Christian. It’s not just these mornings when things don’t go as planned. Over and over again, I have them: mom fails. I could beat myself up over them, and relive them in my mind for the rest of the day (or even beyond). But the better thing to do is try to overcome them, and find a way to do better.
Here are five things I do to overcome a “mom fail.”

• Show myself grace. My son is resilient when it comes to my failures. Five minutes later, he will be hugging my neck telling me he loves me. If only I could love myself in those moments. We are not perfect – as people, as Christians, or as mothers. We need to remember that and show ourselves the grace that God so often shows us.

“Out of his fullness, we have all received grace in place of grace already given.” – John 1:16

[Tweet “We are not perfect – as people, as Christians, or as mothers. #momfail “]

• Apologize for my shortcomings. Some people may think that our children will see weakness or try to take advantage when they hear us apologize. But I think a sincere apology shows them that we do make mistakes and we are willing to admit them, so it’s okay for them to do the same. I also believe it gives them a chance to do something that will be important throughout their lives: forgive.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” – James 5:16a

• Take the opportunity to make it a teachable moment. This starts with the steps above, showing grace and apologizing. Blowing it ourselves gives us the chance to teach our children about the grace of God and the importance of confession and true repentance. What better time to talk about our own sinfulness, how much Jesus loves us, and what He did for us on the cross? I don’t want to let that opportunity pass.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” – Romans 5:8

• Try to lighten the mood. After all of the steps above, I try to change the subject and talk about something that is enjoyable to us both. We talk about what the plan is for the day and things we have to look forward to in the future. We act silly and make jokes. Whatever will get both of our minds off of the negative. No matter what happens, I always want to move on to a better place and a more positive mood for both of us.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22

• Ask God to help me do better the next time. Only with prayer and studying God’s Word will I truly overcome those “mom fails.” Yes, they are always going to happen, but I know I can decrease the chances of it happening if I am truly in tune with my Father.  

“Come near to God and he will come near to you…” – James 4:6a

The bottom line is, we can never be perfect, even when it comes to our kids. (Maybe especially when it comes to our kids.) When humans get together, they do human things and make human mistakes. Show grace, apologize, learn together, and don’t let it ruin your day.

What about you? How do you overcome a “mom fail?”

Love in Christ,

 

 

 

All Scripture references are from the NIV.

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One the best books I’ve read on motherhood (and parenting in general) was written by Susan Merrill, founder and director of iMom.com (which has some terrific resources, by the way) entitled The Passionate Mom: Dare to Parent in Today’s World.  Check it out for yourself or another mom you know!

The Passionate Mom: Dare to Parent in Today’s World By Susan Merrill

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